If Digital Signage Companies Were Alien Star Trek Races, Stratacache Would Be The Borg

March 24, 2017 by guest author, Mitch Leathers

Guest Post: Luis Villafane, Maler

About a week ago, I was feeling pretty sick. Late at night, I had a very high fever, so I went to bed and ended up having one of those super-weird dreams that you only have when you get feverish.


It was about Star Trek Voyager … and Ken Goldberg. And a bunch of other signage people.

I didn’t wake up screaming, but that weird dream did have me scratching my head, and for some reason thinking, “What if all of us in digital signage were different races on Star Trek?”

Here is my top 10 DS analogies to Star Trek.  Please take no offence … it is just for fun.

  1. BrightSign:  I would have to say an Allasomorph.  Shape-shifting species that adapts to every software.
  2. BroadSign: I see them as Cardassians. A military dictatorship, you can schedule directly, but everything else passes through their servers.
  3. ComQi:  Betazoids.  Read minds.  Like during demos, when everything you request will be available next quarter.
  4. Scala:  This one is easy.  Romulans.  Higher Race, everyone else is a lower species.  They have their own Empire.
  5. DailyDOOH:  Ferengi. J
  6. MALER: We are obviously the “Q” – because I am writing this post, and deep down, I want to be omnipotent.
  7. Real Digital Media:  They have to be Klingon.  Just because I wasn’t able to crash/hack their device when I tested it.
  8. Ayuda:  Species 8472 from fluidic space and triple DNA structure.  Very powerful, but won’t make a 4th episode.
  9. Navori: Vulcans. They don´t do what you ask because there is no logic to your request.
  10. Stratachache:  Borg!  You will be assimilated.  Your uniqueness will be incorporated into our own.  (who would the Borg Queen be?  hehe)

OK, I will tell you the dream … the Borg wanted to assimilate the world via DS software (yeah, I already said I was very sick, right?)

So we all had to put sections of MagicInfo source code into our core DS applications.  Idea was that since Borg seek perfection, (and as MagicInfo is pretty bad), The Borg would not assimilate us.

Editor Notes:

  1. Kind of weird but this guy gets it.

  2. Ken Goldberg says:

    Checking off a bucket list item: getting inside Luis’ head.

    Certainly your fevered dream revealed the antidote to being assimilated.

    Never stop being you, Luis! (In Klingon: not choH, jupwI’)

  3. From Locutus of Borg: We have always viewed MALER not as Q, but rather as a Redshirt.

    See you at Wolf 359.

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