Enough With The Tired, Overused, Stupid Marketing Lines

Guest Post: Luis Villafane, Maler Digital Signage

I just got really upset. I bought a “classic” pinball machine for the office. It’s one of those machines with no electronic boards at all, where everything is mechanic. Easy to hack, easy to modify and very easy to fix.  A joy.  I used to be great playing this machines back in the 80´s, but for whatever reason, I seem to suck at them now.

Luis Villifane

So, after playing 10 games with pathetic scores … I decided to go back to work, and that is when I got really pissed off.

If I read again “The right message at the right time, in the right place,” I will first throw up, then kick my computer so hard that it will “tilt” just like a pinball machine.

Please, oh please, change it. EVERYONE!  Choose something else.  I don’t know what, but definitely not that.  The first time I heard it was in 1999 by the guys in Fujitsu, while explaining the name TELentice.  TELE+Entice, entice people… right advert at the right time at the right place …  aaaargh …  I get irritable just thinking about that super-tired phrase.

But … that’s just one of the lines used in this business that makes me crazy. Here’s my top 10 of marketing phrases in this business I hate.

10 – Free Digital Signage.  Sure … I work for free, as well as all other system managers and network operators. Nothing like free licenses, but … lots of grief.

9 – Works over an internet connection.  Hahahahaha.  Thank God for that. Driving to those 500 sites would be a bitch.

8 – The most easy digital signage on the market.  Please call the guys from the Free DS company and do some serious making out.

7 – Turn any TV into a Digital Sign.  These guys should be arrested.   This is probably sponsored by MediaMark. and Best Buy.

6 – Award-winning Digital Signage Software. Yeah … ok. Congrats on that. There are so many DS awards I’ve lost count. I got a couple of awards, too. No one cares.

5 – Your message will be noticed.  Thanks, you can also please make out with the guys from “Turn any TV into DS” or “number 4,” below.

4 – Content is King.  I really wanted to drop the F-bomb here, but for God’s Sake!!!!  I cannot hear that again. We know. We heard you 70 years ago and still hear you clearly. Stop reminding us.

3 – “Worlds Top DS” or “cutting edge DS” software.  Really? says who?  Oh … yeah … him/her.  Well, he/she doesn’t matter at all in this industry, so go away.

2 – SOC.  Keep going guys, you almost almost have it.  Do please have your lab guys consult with large deployed network managers before you launch your next System on Chip displays version.  I really, really cannot wait until I am comfortable depending on you instead of PC makers.  Until then … SOC = SUCK.

and finally, number one…

1 – Intelligent Digital Signage.  Haha, not like the other Idiot Digital Signage systems.

I know. It’s Christmas. Peace and goodwill. Got it.

So how about making a New Year’s resolution to say something original when you market your products in 2017?

Luis Villafane
Luis R. Villafane graduated from UConn with a double major in International Relations and Spanish Literature, but always worked in IT security and administration. After a few years as a systems admin and audit agent in the US Dept of Defense, Luis moved back to Spain in 2000 were he started MALER Digital Signage Operations. He carries on his back more than 15 years experience in DS, with some of the largest and iconic networks in Europe, such as the London Underground, KFC, Danish Rail, O2 Arena. He loves pointing out crappyDigital Signage Software, and considers himself a DS puritan … whatever that means.
Luis Villafane

@malerdso

International experience in consulting, deployment and monitoring real-time digital signage systems, for marketing projects, advertising and retail.
Banks are thriving with sophisticated digital signage https://t.co/Cw8ntjPavZ via @customerthink #DigitalSignagehttps://t.co/UACgOwdh2i - 2 days ago

2 Comments

  • Kris says:

    Great rant Luis! I chuckled through most of these. If digital signage was that easy and inexpensive, shouldn’t it be everywhere? Venturing out to the mall for Christmas shopping, I saw a fair number of screens. Unfortunately, most were poorly done, featuring limp content on dark screens in bad locations. Putting up a sign isn’t going to do much without clear objectives. Let’s sell value, purpose and results. The customers I’ve talked to respond to better to results than “cheap and easy.” Now get back to pinball!

    • Luis says:

      I really try to do exactly that, to get a smile or a laugh as well as trying to make a point…
      the serious articles… all for Dave.
      🙂

Comments are closed.